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A Day in the life of a Dog & Cat

April 18, 2007

Thanks to Michaela for forwarding this to me…


doghappy.jpgExcerpts from a Dog’s Daily Diary:

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


catsniper.jpgExcerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. The audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow– but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released — and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe…for now…

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16 comments

  1. I heard this on the radio and almost peed my pants laughing. So funny!


  2. I totally love it….its EXACTLY what i imagine my two pets are thinking…hahha


  3. So, so, so accurate. Love the pictures, too.


  4. sounds like mhy 5 dogs, they are knights of the house, in control of humand the food dish and etc.

    Catsvery independent people!,


  5. SO SO FUNNY! I KNOW this is what my cat must be thinking. Thank you for the wonderful laugh! :)
    ~PEACE~


  6. MY cat’s diary:

    04:30 — Feed me.
    04:45 — Feeeed meee.
    06:00 — Plushy blanket. I like. Prrrrr.
    06:03 — Enough petting. I go now.
    07:00 — FEEEEED MEEEEE.
    07:02 — No, not THAT stuff.
    07:04 — Mmmmmmm.
    10:00 — Feed me.
    (and so on.)


  7. wow that is soo funny thas probably what my cat and dog thinks all the time. I wouldnt be suprised. lol


  8. Haha, just hilarious — and very true :)

    Kittehs are the bomb!


  9. that was awsom……….so true…..lol


  10. i always look for those calcium fortified dog foods because they make my dog healther ,,~


  11. this is totally hilarious


  12. Haha – excellent, very funny/cute.

    Winston Churchill kept pigs as pets, and when asked why, he said because cats look down on you, dogs look up to you but a pig treats you as an equal.


  13. what happened to the cats day it was just a story i wanted the times of the cat and the dog. my dog just died so now i am getting a cat so what time does a cat go to bed at and what time does it wake up at.and what is it thinking and what is there day.


  14. I remembered this from a few years ago. Too funny! :)


  15. […] you ever read a Day in the Life of a Dog and Cat?  I love it!  It makes me laugh out loud every time I read it, and as a dog owner, I can […]


  16. Lol I just thought about this and decided to see if I could find it and lol and behold! the first one I clicked, come full circle!



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