Archive for March, 2007

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Joke of the Day

March 30, 2007

The children were all lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

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The hockey-related quote of the year

March 30, 2007

Recently, there have been rumors that Boston Bruins forward Glen Murray (who has two years remaining on his contract after this year) may be traded to his former team, The Los Angeles Kings sometime in the off-season. Kings’ blogger Rudy Kelley at The Battle of California, weighs in with his feelings on this possible trade:

“I liked Glen Murray when he was on the Kings and I’m sure he’s a pleasant enough guy, but I’d rather eat a baby than have him on the Kings for the next two years.”

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The Celebrity Scale

March 30, 2007

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From Firebox.com:

It seems everyone is obsessed about their weight these days. Too fat, too thin, size zero this, obese that. The whole weight debate is enough to make you want to smash up the bathroom scales and start again.

And that’s pretty much what the makers of the hilarious Celebrity Weighing Scales have done, because they’ve dispensed with traditional units of measurement and replaced them with the names of celebrities, historical figures and even a few calorifically-challenged fictional characters.

With this deeply ironic set of scales you get to compare your weight with the likes of Fozzie Bear, Mr Ed (yes, the talking horse!), Donald Trump’s Combover and even the Baby Jesus. Just think, with a set of Celebrity Weighing Scales in the bathroom you’ll be itching to step aboard, not dreading the prospect.

Nothing quite like being told you weigh the same as a horse to boost your confidence.

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The best salad dressing ever made

March 30, 2007

3cheeseranch.jpgAnyone who knows me, knows I love salads. I eat a ton of them, and in order to keep them interesting, I usually have about 10 different salad dressings on hand so I can change things up on a nightly basis.

Pretty recently, I discovered the best salad dressing I have ever had: Three Cheese Ranch. It’s amazing. I’m not even a fan of ranch dressing, but this stuff is incredible. If you haven’t tried it yet… go buy some tonight!

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Sent this to my boss today

March 30, 2007

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(Click the image to see the large view)

Thanks to Morning Glory 2 for the image

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The Electric Cattle Prod Treatment

March 30, 2007

Apparently spanking isn’t effective enough.

From KOMOTV:

Bradley Bernstein’s parents say an electric cattle prod is the only thing that stops him from banging his head and violently punching his eyes, nearly blinding himself.

The Illinois couple’s fight to continue shock treatment on their severely autistic 48-year-old son and the uproar over a Massachusetts school that uses similar treatment, have pulled back the curtain on this extreme form of behavior modification. Critics call it outmoded, barbaric and unethical.

[…]

The school is under legislative and regulatory scrutiny for routinely using skin shocks on about half its 230 students to stop serious behavior problems, including self-injury.

Electric shocks and other painful or unpleasant treatments known as “aversive conditioning” were accepted more a generation ago. But mainstream psychiatry relies on new drugs and other methods that have proven effective.

Hmm… taking a pill or getting shocked with an electric cattle prod? Which would you choose?

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Otters holding hands

March 29, 2007

Even I have to admit, this is pretty cute (watch until the end)…