h1

Photo of the Day

December 6, 2007

unique1.jpg

h1

Great Movie Quotes: Monster

November 29, 2007

monster_quote.jpg

Aileen: “All you need is love and to believe in yourself.” [scoffs]
Aileen: Nice idea. It doesn’t exactly work out that way. But I guess it was better to hear a flat-out lie than to know the truth at 13.

h1

How cool is this?

November 29, 2007

I want this… someone buy it for me.

jackbauerfigure.jpg

In other excellent news, 24: Season 6 will be released on DVD this Tuesday, December 4th.

h1

Why did the chicken cross the road?

October 31, 2007

chicken_at_road.jpgDR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…

ANDERSON COOPER – CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth?’ That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES : I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra…#&&^(C% …….. reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE : I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY : Where’s my gun?

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

h1

A Parody Masterpiece

October 18, 2007

This is probably one of my all time favorite parody/comedy songs. It’s probably not quite safe for work (based on the lyrics), but it’s definitely worth checking out.

You’ve probably heard, “Hey There Delilah”. Well, here’s “Hey There Vagina”

h1

Great Movie Quotes: Grandma’s Boy

October 5, 2007

grandmas_boy_quote.jpg

Alex: Anyway, I was wondering if maybe I could crash here for a while.
Dante: Whoa, I don’t know, man. I got a business to run. This is like my office as well as my home. Plus, the lion comes in a couple days.
Alex: You’re getting a lion?
Dante: Yeah.
Alex: Why?
Dante: To protect my shit.
Alex: Never heard of a dog?
Dante: Dude, you can get past a dog. Nobody fucks with a lion.
Alex: Yeah, that’s true.

h1

Joke Of The Day

October 5, 2007

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”

The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now, that’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”