Photo of the Day

Great Movie Quotes: Monster

Aileen: “All you need is love and to believe in yourself.” [scoffs]
Aileen: Nice idea. It doesn’t exactly work out that way. But I guess it was better to hear a flat-out lie than to know the truth at 13.

How cool is this?

I want this… someone buy it for me.

In other excellent news, 24: Season 6 will be released on DVD this Tuesday, December 4th.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…

ANDERSON COOPER – CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth?’ That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES : I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra…#&&^(C% …….. reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE : I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY : Where’s my gun?

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

A Parody Masterpiece

This is probably one of my all time favorite parody/comedy songs. It’s probably not quite safe for work (based on the lyrics), but it’s definitely worth checking out.

You’ve probably heard, “Hey There Delilah”. Well, here’s “Hey There Vagina”…

Great Movie Quotes: Grandma’s Boy

Alex: Anyway, I was wondering if maybe I could crash here for a while.
Dante: Whoa, I don’t know, man. I got a business to run. This is like my office as well as my home. Plus, the lion comes in a couple days.
Alex: You’re getting a lion?
Dante: Yeah.
Alex: Why?
Dante: To protect my shit.
Alex: Never heard of a dog?
Dante: Dude, you can get past a dog. Nobody fucks with a lion.
Alex: Yeah, that’s true.

Joke Of The Day

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”

The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now, that’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

A Personal Update

First of all, I just want to apologize for the lack of updates lately.

It’s been a busy Summer, work has been a little more hectic than usual, and a lot of personal stuff has been going on. Of which, includes just recently going through the process of purchasing a condo, which was finally finalized earlier this month.

I hope to get back to having daily posts up soon, but until then, check out some of the older classics:

Where Are They Now… ?

My Top 30 Favorite Movies

My Top 10 Favorite Comic Book Villains

My Top 10 Favorite Movie Characters

My Top 12 Favorite Childhood Movies

“I’m hungry. I’m gonna eat it”

This story is just ridiculous…

From The Daily Telegraph – A man has reportedly ripped the head off a tame duck that lived in the ornamental lobby of a Minnesota hotel.

The Associated Press reported that Scott D. Clark allegedly cornered the duck before grabbing it and decapitating it with his hands in front of a security guard and other onlookers.

Mr Clark then said: “I’m hungry. I’m gonna eat it.”

He was allegedly drunk, AP said.

A spokesman for the Minnesota Federated Humane Societies called on the hotel to examine their duck protection policies, or possibly think about having fish like other hotels, AP reported.

Joke Of The Day

Thanks to my Mom for passing along this wonderfully corny joke…

A blonde enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.” The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains. He shows her several patterns, but the blonde seems to be having a hard time choosing.

Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print. The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs. The blonde promptly replies, “seventeen inches.”

“Seventeen inches???” asks the salesman. “That sounds very small. What room are they for?”

The blonde tells him that they aren’t for a room; they are for her computer monitor. The surprised salesman replies, “but Miss, computers do not need curtains!”

The blonde says, “Hellllooooooooo, I’ve got Windoooooows!!!!!!!!”

NHL ’08 released today

For as long as I can remember, EA Sport’s NHL series of video games has been my favorite. I’ve owned each one since back in 1993, when it was released on Super Nintendo.

Today (Sept 13th), the latest greatest version of the game has been released, and I will be picking up a copy for my XBox 360.

Last year, EA released the revolutionary “skill stick” control, which has made the game much more fun to play, and opens up a world of new things you can do with the players. It’s as close to “controlling” a player as it’s ever been in a hockey video game.

I’m hoping this year’s game will improve on some of the weaker areas of ’07, such as improving on the defense, and adding some advanced goaltender controls for the shoot out.

Either way, I am sure this game will be great for hours and hours of wasted time entertainment.

Joke Of The Day

No, this picture is not the joke, although it could be.

What’s the difference between a bucket full of shit and Nickleback?

…

The Bucket.

Heh.

Photo Of The Day

This is hilarious…

The World Without Us

Alan Weisman asks and answers the question, “without human life on Earth, what traces of us would linger and what would disappear?”

He’s comprised a pretty interesting picture chart that explains, over varying amounts of time, how the Earth would progress and fall.

Click here to check it out. Mouse over the blocks to see what would happen for that particular time frame.

Zombie Superheroes

Someone has gone through the effort of customizing zombie versions of popular comic book super heroes. The results are pretty cool.

Here’s a picture of some of the figures created. You can click here for several more.

Extremely geeky, but pretty cool as well.

The Dalai Lama Action figure

Some refer to him as the “god of a thousand arms”, which I guess in this case includes the AK-12 automatic machine gun.

Here is a sweet new Dalia Lama action figure, courtesy of Jesus Christ Superstore.

What kid wouldn’t want to unwrap a present and see this gem enclosed. He’d probably go along great with this other religious super hero.

Great Movie Quotes: Little Miss Sunshine

Dwayne: I wish I could just sleep until I was eighteen and skip all this crap-high school and everything-just skip it.
Frank: You know Marcel Proust?
Dwayne: He’s the guy you teach.
Frank: Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he’s also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh… he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, ’cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn’t learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you’re 18… Ah, think of the suffering you’re gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don’t get better suffering than that.

> Read more quotes

Photo of the Day

The Last Jedi Supper

I am not much of a Star Wars nut, nor am I all that much into religion, yet this photo is pretty cool, interesting, and potentially controversial.

I don’t find it offensive in any way, but I’m sure there’s some people out there who won’t take kindly to one of the most famous religion-based images being re-created as a Star Wars-themed picture.

Click the image below to see the full sized version.

July 18, 2008 is going to be a good day

What happens on July 18th, 2008? Well, The Dark Knight will be released in theaters. The Dark Knight is the follow up to the incredible Batman Begins.

The Dark Knight is once again directed by the amazing Christopher Nolan (Memento), and stars Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Heath Ledger, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Gary Oldman, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Eric Roberts and Anthony Michael Hall.

Several new hi-res screen shots have been released, and they have got me anticipating the film even more. I am anxiously awaiting to see Ledger in his role as The Joker. I think he was perfectly cast, and I believe he along with Nolan will bring Joker to the screen the way he always should have been done (not to discredit Jack Nicholson, of course).

Here are some screen shots of Ledger as The Joker, as well as one of Bale returning in his role as Batman/Bruce Wayne.

> Click here for more hi-res production images